Online dating isn’t anything new. In fact, I’ve been doing it since before it became the new norm, and thus have watched it transform from something faux pas into the most popular way to meet potential new partners. That doesn’t mean that it hasn’t undergone its own evolution since its inception, and it also doesn’t mean it’s for everyone.
Dating, whatever form it takes, can be frustrating and nerve-racking, especially when the popularity of online dating has been reduced to mostly swiping left or right. It’s become so easy to just check your phone, browse photos, a few lines of description, and pick who you think is best that many people have decided that meeting people in “real life”, or should I simply say “in person” is the new faux pas.
Finding someone attractive the instant you see them is nothing new to the human experience, so why limit it to photos on a screen? How do we get back to the days when people, y’know, actually let that spark ignite?
Talk To Everyone You Can
If you’re not comfortable talking to the opposite sex, or people in general, this is the best way to get practice. It doesn’t have to be much. If you’re genuine, you’d be surprised how many people are willing to talk to strangers, especially if you allow them to talk about themselves. Say hi to people in line when getting food, be friendly to those in the service industry. Spark up conversation when you can.
Know The Difference Between Conversation and Hitting On Someone
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Hitting on people rarely works. The only time it does is if you’re particularly good at social interaction and can appear genuine when you’re not. It’s better to go the route of being yourself. Try to avoid obvious compliments about someone’s appearance. This particularly applies to men speaking to women. Depending on your delivery of the compliment, it can be misconstrued as catcalling, and no woman wants that. If you happen to like a piece of clothing their wearing, genuinely, for instance because they have a particularly fun sports shirt on and you love that team too, then by all means, speak up.
Say Yes To Invitations
If you want to meet people, you’ve got to put yourself out there. If bars and clubs are not your scene, and they tend not to be for most when it comes to meeting someone you want to be with, then you have to take advantage of other situations. Work happy hour? Say yes. Birthday party for an acquaintance? Say yes. Even if you think you know exactly who is going to be there…you’re wrong. If you don’t meet the love of your life, you could still meet someone who could know the love of your life.
Don’t Take It Personally
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Not everyone will want to talk to you. But most of the time, that has very little to do with you and almost everything to do with them. You don’t know what’s going on in a person’s life. You don’t know what kind of day they’re having, what they’re thinking about, how they’re feeling or what they’ve been through. When it’s obvious a person doesn’t want to talk, let it go and move on to the next. You never know when a kind stranger to talk to is exactly what a person was looking for.
Keep Trying – But Remember Yourself As A Priority
The most obnoxious part of dating, whether it’s online or not, is you fail until you don’t. Until you find the person you’re supposed to be with, the rest will end, some faster than others. Whether it’s after one conversation, a couple of weeks or even a couple of years, getting up and trying again is the only surefire way to find the person you want. There’s one caveat –,don’t make it a priority. Definitely make it a goal, but being comfortable with yourself while looking for someone else is the most desirable trait there is.
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